My Journey Beyond Being Right
My name is Marie Gray, and I am a Communications and Relationship Partner at Redesign4growth, where I have launched my lifelong career coaching journey with Diana in March 2024
Diana and I met when I enrolled in the International Women in Business Job Seekers Program. In this blog, I explore how I implemented Diana's coaching philosophy for emerging leaders like me.
Leading by Being the Ultimate Team Member
My approach to work is shaped by a commitment to always lead with kindness. First, it is rooted in a commitment to foster trust and celebrate shared successes. Second, I want to be transparent with my colleagues and amplify their accomplishments within our workspace. And third, I've witnessed how kindness inspires others to elevate themselves, just as one of my female role models, Michele Obama, said it would.
I took a Core Strength inventory (SDI 2.0), an assessment of human motivations and strengths recommended by Diana. The inventory describes what drives people's behavior and how to communicate effectively to build trust. My results reinforced what I already knew of myself.
My top three strengths were unsurprisingly caring, adaptability, and modesty. However what proved very insightful about the inventory was that it taught me how to use these strengths correctly. This, in turn, helped me navigate conflict.
Like many behind-the-scenes employees, I have made the mistake of living my relationship with my boss through only my lens because frankly I could, and it was easy. As my responsibilities and the number of stakeholders I am directly accountable to have increased, it has become abundantly clear what a luxury it is to only care about one relationship.
Thinking carefully about the perspective of my superiors has allowed me to refine the cornerstone of my personality: applying genuine empathy in tough conversations. It has given me a new purpose, which is to support my manager in achieving our shared goals.
Here's how I ensured that my strengths remained balanced and effective:
A defining feature of my job is to ensure my projects meet fixed deadlines. However, the startup space I work in is fundamentally about flexibility and being open to changes at any time. The unmatched expectations of both goals can be hard to bridge.
Additionally, without intentional reflection, I can feel unanchored because I lack the time to prioritize caring and find the most effective means of communication. I am fundamentally uncomfortable with the idea of individuals treated as tools rather than valued professionals.
For a moment, I start seeing exploring alternative options as a lack of commitment to getting things done, emerging opportunities as disruptive - new directions we are unprepared to execute.
I turned to Diana to ask how I could deploy a feedforward mindset in this situation to maintain transparency, highlight shared achievements, while remaining modest about my own contributions. She advised the following process:
Ask your stakeholder about their expectations. A guiding question could be: how could I be more helpful?
Listen to their suggestions.
Say thank you.
Analyze their suggestions.
Implement what you think is the most effective action plan.
Deploying Diana’s feedforward advice, I talked to managers and colleagues to generate transparency about expectations. I found this to be a powerful way to generate trust, adapt quickly and correctly and set a foundation for shared belonging to success. I designed a new teamwork philosophy - stepping into someone else’s lens and applying that knowledge about their perspective.
The Relationship You Want With Your Leader Starts With You
A manager's job is to make you as effective a tool as possible; this is inherently uncomfortable. This discomfort is magnified when you cannot define what you need. Leaders thrive on workable solutions; niceties are wonderful cushions but should never be treated as the primary goal.
I have learned that the implicit part of my job is to provide explicit guidance on how to work, motivate, or communicate with me most effectively and set realistic expectations of my performance. My feedforward for generating the relationship you want with your leader is this: guide leaders into the relationship you want with them.
